'Don't touch my things...': Terrible roommate won't let people use her things, gets a taste of her own medicine

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Oct 19, 2023 12:00 PM EDT

Having roommates who use your things without permission is always frustrating, especially when there's a complete lack of appreciation, reciprocation, consideration, or at least acknowledgment of the fact that they're doing so. 

Still, sharing is an important way to build relationships, as mutual trust and reciprocation are key components. So, while people using your things is annoying, being overly zealous about people not touching your things is never going to fly either, and getting overly pedantic about it is just going to start a battle that is going to result in everyone losing. Cohabitation shouldn't be purely transactional, and those who bring in roommates expecting it to be as such will make themselves and their unfortunate roommates miserable.

This roommate felt that no one should touch anything she owned, including her salt and pepper on the table. Well, two could play at that game… If salt and pepper were "off the table," then the roommate was never going to use anything that wasn't hers ever again… 

Talk about a nightmare roommate situation.

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/190Pairs OfPanties 6 hours ago Tale As Old As Time: "Don't Touch My Things And I Won't Touch Yours..." M OC So after college I ended up living with two friends from school in a family owned house near the school, one of them brought in one of her coworkers, Ashley, to stay for three months while she finished out a contract.
    via u/190PairsOfPanties
  • 02
    Font - There was a lease agreement for the main two friends, they knew my cousin and knew he was was the LL and everything had been fine for over a year before Ashley came along. Ashley signed an agreement with him as well for the three months. We did agree not to share the family connection with Ashley though, in case she was a problem and tried to use it against us, or as an excuse to be a slob/not pay.
    via u/190PairsOfPanties
  • 03
    Font - Ashley seemed okay for the first couple days, mostly settling in and getting used to the house and how it ran. I had offered to make a roast dinner for everyone and was in the process of cooking it when Ashley noticed me use her bottle of Palmolive on accident and asked me why I'd used hers instead of my own (it was sitting right next to mine and a little more empty.) Weird. But I apologized for the mistake, took a rubber band from the junk drawer and put it on the neck of my bottle so it
    via u/190PairsOfPanties
  • 04
    Font - That was not that. Ashley then informed the roommates that she'd seen me using her salt and pepper on the table on a couple occasions (the cardboard dollar store sets for picnics), and asked them if I always took all their stuff without asking and if I was always this way. They said no, and Ashley said they were clearly just too spineless to speak up for themselves.
    via u/190PairsOfPanties
  • 05
    Font - She turned to me and said "I won't put up with this sort of nonsense. I don't want anyone else using anything of mine just because it's sitting out. I will not be having this conversation again. Do not touch anything of mine. Or else." [I can feel my pulse in my teeth] "I understand completely, Ashley. I'm really sorry if you feel that way, but I think your way is the best way forward, no more using one another's things. At all. Right?"
    via u/190PairsOfPanties
  • 06
    Font - "Right." "Right. Well, the kettle, coffee makers, toaster, and microwave are all mine. Ditto for all the pots and pans, flatware, and plates in these cupboards and drawers. The big TV in the main room and the consoles are mine as well. All the bedding on your bed is also mine, I'll thank you to put it in the wash immediately." I think she thought I was joking. I was not.
    via u/190PairsOfPanties
  • 07
    Font - I was going to tell her "no roast beef or Yorkshire pudding for you!" but she opted not to join us for the welcome dinner on her own. The next morning as soon as she was gone to work I rearranged my things in the kitchen, put everything of mine into the walk in pantry and put a locking kOb on it. I took the remotes and controllers for my big TV and kept them locked in my room. I took the bedding and lamps of mine out of her room. Extra receiver for satellite? Nope, just the three we alrea
    via u/190PairsOfPanties
  • 08
    Font - Ashley complained bitterly. She insisted it was illegal for me to deprive her of the microwave, internet, and tv in her lease. Nope! That thing just said that a fridge, stove, dishwasher, washer, and dryer were available for use. (Oh and BTW the laundry drying rack is mine as well, and stop using my detergent pellets.)
    via u/190PairsOfPanties
  • 09
    Font - It was a rough two months. Ashley ended up leaving early to move in with a BF, she made a big theatrical threat on her way out that she was talking to the LL and was going to get us all kicked out. It was then that I informed her he was family. She looked like a balloon full of raspberry jam at that revelation, and we never saw her again. (Roommates were fine with the kitchen and tv stuff, they had keys to the pantry and their own TVs in their rooms.)
    via u/190PairsOfPanties
  • 10
    Font - soulmatesmate - 5 hr. ago Her pettiness was her downfall. Soap and salt? She wasn't thinking. I wonder if she'll learn. Vote Reply Share 190Pairs OfPanties OP 4 hr. ago Choose your battles wisely. She chose to be petty over literally 3¢ worth of products and I met here there. Lol. Vote Reply Share
    via u/190PairsOfPanties
  • 11
    Font - Feather_of_a_Jay - 4 hr. ago . Why did she feel the need to complain about a little oil, soap and salt? Those things aren't used up that easily... Reply Share Vote ●●● 190PairsOfPanties OP 4 hr. ago Everyone's different with their consumables. I can understand that and would have respected it if she'd been normal about it and not tried to rally the troops against me. ✩ Vote Reply Share
    via u/190PairsOfPanties
  • 12
    Font - Feather_of_a_Jay . 4 hr. ago Fair enough. But yeah, trying to bring up your roommates against you really was not okay. Glad you could handle it like this. Reply Share Vote 190PairsOfPanties OP 4 hr. ago I generally avoid using other people's things without asking, I've been the roommate providing soy milk and so tickets for everyone else in the past. But something like dish soap when I clearly have a full bottle, and salt when there's plenty, is not the same. Just tell me not to use it an
    via u/190PairsOfPanties
  • 13
    Font - alancake · 4 hr. ago . Did she try to walk it back at all and apologise or did she just complain? Very well executed Vote Reply Share ●●● 190Pairs OfPanties OP 4 hr. ago · Vote She didn't apologize aside from a sarcastic "sor-rey" right in the beginning. Not that it would have changed much even if it sounded genuine. I wouldn't have backed down on anything at that point in my life lol. Reply Share
    via u/190PairsOfPanties
  • 14
    Font - SavvySillybug 4 hr. ago I can understand the general sentiment of wanting people not to touch your stuff, but oil and salt?? I can't imagine a world in which those are not obviously shared. Especially not the basic cheap stuff. I only like one particular ketchup brand and I'd be pied if people kept using it up and only bought cheap stuff to replace it, for example. But salt and oil?? How do people like that even exist? Reply Share Vote
    via u/190PairsOfPanties
  • 15
    Font - 190PairsOfPanties OP 4 hr. ago . Not even oil. Palmolive is dish soap. Lol. That made it even worse. It was really more the "does she do this to you as well? Take all your stuff and use it???" that pushed me over the edge. Vote Reply Share
    via u/190PairsOfPanties
  • 16
    Font - idahononono. 4 hr. ago Lessons were learned those months. You are an evil genius. /bow Reply Share Vote ●●● 190Pairs OfPanties OP 4 hr. ago Always make sure you know which way the gun is pointing before you shoot. Vote Reply Share
    via u/190PairsOfPanties
  • 17
    Font - KittyWolf8 4 hr. ago Her entitlement to "her stuff" backfired oh so badly. Maybe she will learn that sharing is caring? Vote Reply Share Bulbapuppaur. 3 hr. ago She has a right to ask a roommate not to use her things. Bad/entitled roommate situations start out small and then can snowball and she was trying to set those boundaries. She does not have a right to be a boh about it and try to drive a wedge between OP and the other roommates Vote Reply Share
    via u/190PairsOfPanties
  • 18
    Font - 190PairsOfPanties OP 3 hr. ago "Hey, I'd appreciate you not using my dish soap." Would have been totally fine. I apologized for the dish soap, showed her I took action to prevent it in the future, and assumed that would suffice. It was the snotty attempt to get out the pitchforks over the salt and pepper that triggered the ultra petty response. Vote Reply Share ●●●
    via u/190PairsOfPanties

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